Positive Discipline: agreements and follow through 2

The last  part of the steps for coming to an agreement included the understanding that you need to follow through and hold the child accountable.  Here are four hints for effective follow through from class:

• Keep comments simple and concise.  "I notice you didn't do your assignment; would you please do that now?"
• In response to objections, ask "What was our agreement?"
• In response to further objections, shut your mouth and use nonverbal communication. (Point to your watch.  Smile knowingly.  Give a hug and point to your watch again.)
• When the child concedes to keep the agreement (sometimes obviously annoyed), say "Thank you for keeping our agreement."

I haven't tried this much yet, so we'll see.  A few of the other parents in the room who have been there for awhile swear it works.

Traps that defeat effective follow through:

• Wanting children to have the same priorities as adults.
• Getting into judgements and criticism instead of sticking to the issue.
• Not getting agreements in advance that include a specific time deadline.
• Not maintaining dignity and respect for the child and yourself.

I thought that the first one was particularly good.  Kids just don't need what I need.  I need to get out the door  sooner than later.  They need to play.  I need quiet for just a minute.  They need to KABOOM and play the kazoo in the car...  *sigh*  I have a lot of work to do.

More at http://www.positivediscipline.com/